Even now, I can see you smile.

I went to see my aunt's grave yesterday. By far the hardest thing I had to do in a while. It will be eight years this January. In that same January, I lost my grandmother. I was in fourth grade. That was the worst January in my whole life.

I didn't visit my grandmother's grave because her and my aunt are buried in different cemeteries. I couldn't handle it anymore. I cried so many tears yesterday.

I wonder if my aunt Mandy would have had her life straightened out now. She was killed so early in her life. I want her back so bad.

I want my grandma back. She was my protector.



I miss you.










Even now I can see you smile
I can hear you hum
I can hear you sing
And I always can find you again

Even in the dark of night
Even in the lowest light
Even as the world outside
Is spinning, and spinning

Even now I can see you sleep
I can see you dream
I can see you fly
And I always can find you again

Never take life for granted.

p.s- I just set up a mobile blog... ha, as if I need to post things from my cell phone.

Everyone, and I mean everyone

deserves to have someone that loves them.

That's all you need.
And that's all I want to provide.


I want to love you, and show you that the world isn't complete shit.
I wish you would realize that you won't find anyone else that will care for you so entirely much, and be patient with you every step of the way.

I want to be who you love, and who makes you smile.
I want to be who you come to for understanding, and the feeling of being content.
I want to be who makes your heart happy.
I want to show you how much I care.


Just let me in.

Who's back seat really catches on fire?

LMFAO was so fun, haha. I can't wait til I see them again in February.

We were sitting next to this car, minding our own business. It looks like the window is fogged up because someone may have been sitting in it or something. So we didn't think anything of it. Christina looks over and yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT CAR?'
We look over and the backseat is filled with flames. What. the. fuck. We thought it was going to blow up or something... Britany's car is already started and in a panic she tries to start it again. The whole time we're trying to back up (she was freaking out so bad and having MAJOR technical difficulties, I would too, though. So hakuna matata babygirl), we were all screaming very loudly things like, "OH MY FUCKING GOSH, OH MY GOSH. BACK UP BACK UP." Needless to say, we parked very far away and then Britany called the cops. The firemen came and had to bust out the windows and shit so that they could get the flames out. That was the craziest thing I have ever seen.

Sleep

I sleep entirely too much. I feel like I'm sleeping away my teenage years and I'm not sure if that's good or not.

LMFAO tonight should definitely be fun.


I'm almost finished with my graduation project. Thankfully.

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You are, you are

Last night was terrible. I felt so defeated. I felt like nothing was going my way and I just wanted to go home. So many things happened and I don't even want to go into detail. So I'm going to leave it at that. I went by Britany's work to see her for a second. And as soon as I walked in the door I felt better. I explained to her what was bothering me and I started crying. Her caring voice, listening ears, and loving nature really made me see that everything was going to be okay. I woke up in the middle of the night and read a text that said:

"If you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile, and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun come shining through for you. Goodnight, I love you."


Thank you for being my best friend, my sister, my partner in crime, my SS, my sketchmaster, my 'bad influence', and for letting me lean on you. Without you I don't think I would be okay.

I don't think it's scary.

Everyone is so scared of the rest of their lives. It's weird, yes; scary, no. At first I thought of it as scary. Your life will turn out the way it will because you made it turn out that way. If something or someone is truly important to you, then you will keep that person or that something in your life--no strings attached.